Almost

Almost is an odd word. What does it even mean?

I almost got in a car accident today.

I almost overslept.

I almost bought the DVD version of that.

I almost couldn't fit in these jeans.

I almost fell down the stairs.

I have almost eleven toes.

I spent almost $25 on lunch today.

The sun almost crashed into the earth, almost ending almost all life.

We have almost 3 children.

The speed of light almost changed.

I almost got lost coming here.

He was almost a girl.

My cat almost threw up again.

My cat almost transformed into a giant robot.

That bumper sticker is almost true.

Black is almost white.

I almost robbed a bank today.

My phone battery is almost dead.

Almost can almost change a lie into truth;

It almost validates the counterfactual,

Allowing us to say things that are simply false

Without feeling dishonest.

Almost.

The universe's quantum vaccuum state almost collapsed

to a lower energy level, disrupting all matter and ending existence.

Dodged quite a bullet there!

So, if you exist and are reading this, I almost thank you

And almost wish you a good night. Sleep almost tight!

(Don't worry. I almost brought the custom logo ballpoint pen back to the bank.)