Almost is an odd word. What does it even mean?
I almost got in a car accident today.
I almost overslept.
I almost bought the DVD version of that.
I almost couldn't fit in these jeans.
I almost fell down the stairs.
I have almost eleven toes.
I spent almost $25 on lunch today.
The sun almost crashed into the earth, almost ending almost all life.
We have almost 3 children.
The speed of light almost changed.
I almost got lost coming here.
He was almost a girl.
My cat almost threw up again.
My cat almost transformed into a giant robot.
That bumper sticker is almost true.
Black is almost white.
I almost robbed a bank today.
My phone battery is almost dead.
Almost can almost change a lie into truth;
It almost validates the counterfactual,
Allowing us to say things that are simply false
Without feeling dishonest.
Almost.
The universe's quantum vaccuum state almost collapsed
to a lower energy level, disrupting all matter and ending existence.
Dodged quite a bullet there!
So, if you exist and are reading this, I almost thank you
And almost wish you a good night. Sleep almost tight!
(Don't worry. I almost brought the custom logo ballpoint pen back to the bank.)
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